We’re getting there! We are right in the middle of the entries, working our way through them.
- Latvia: weird! But they have a Chihuahua in the video, so that’s go to be worth something.
- Lithuania: bluesy and smooth.
- Malta: what is with Malta and fat chics? You would think their tiny island would sink under all that weight.
- Moldava: OK, they’ve got my vote. Half of Israel will vote for a song called Hora Din Moldova. It this doesn’t make you get up and dance (or at least grin your head off), you’re probably on the wrong meds.
- Montenegro: hey, wasn’t that a disco song in the 80s?
- The Netherlands: Oh. My. God. “Love will make us glow in the dark”???? Well, sure, if you’re humping in Chernobyl.
- Norway: that kid is going to make a lot of girls start thinking that violin players are hot. Won’t get anywhere (other than votes from other Scandinavian countries).
- Poland: pleasantly forgettable.
- Portugal: another country that isn’t afraid to have a big girl front them. They’ve had a few diva-sized competitors in the past.
- Romania: The Balkan Girls are another group that got a lot of press. They clearly want to be the Spice Girls. Either that, or it is an advertisement for a slutty escort service (or a cautionary tale about the hazards of eye makeup abuse).
- Russia: ever since Israel won two years in a row, countries have been leery of too much success. The costs of hosting Eurovision in this modern security-conscious era can be crippling. This year’s entry for Russia (last year’s winner and therefore this year’s host) fits the bill: don’t embarrass us, but don’t be a shlagger (home run), either.
Stay tuned for the final nine!