Have you been doing your homework? Yes, this is what we do when we should be doing real work—look at Eurovision preview videos. Terri and have dilligently worked our way through the Cs, and here is our report:
- Albania: ho hum. This shouldn’t get more than a handful of votes.
- Andora: cute and inoffensive.
- Armenia: Inga & Anush have the best hats, by far.
- Azerbaijan: best eye makeup on a guy. The shmaltz factor will guarantee votes with some of the Eastern European countries.
- Belarus: so far off the Gay-o-meter that he must be straight.
- Belgium: Elvis lives! Will not do well. Eastern-bloc votes don’t understand or appreciate this kind of humor.
- Bosnia & Herzegovina: fabulous Soviet-era graphics. This one is a good song, but the political symbology may turn off people. Since the lyrics don’t come with a translation, and since they could be in Bosnia, Serbian, or Croatian, I can only wonder.
- Bulgaria: well, at least they make good cheese.
- Croatia: if you’re going to lip-sync, you have to actually mesh up with the music.
- Cyprus: too hip for Eurovision.
- Czech Republic: if you are going to have your band fronted by a spandex-clad Gypsy superhero, pick someone a bit more buff.
Stay tuned for more updates as we work our way through the alphabet. Only 31 more countries to go!
What’s with those German bears? Am I missing something here?