DestructoMeter

A wide swath of destruction: Here’s Naughty Dog’s contribution to my home decorating efforts to date:

  • shredded rolls of toilet paper: 8
  • chewed coffee table: 1
  • socks slobbered on: 3
  • chewed underwear: 2
  • bowls of cat food devoured: 12+
  • gnawed books: 2
  • paper shredded: countless
  • rawhide bones hidden around the apartment: unknown
  • cork coasters eaten: 1
  • cork coasters pooped: 1
  • outside cats chased: dozens
  • inside cat annoyed: 1, but repeatedly
  • number of fights with cat over priority bed real estate: 4
  • number of people and dogs annoyed on our walks: at least 20
  • number of times I have to sweep up dog hair every week: 7
  • illicit objects (pillows, razor, sponge, sandals, door stop) appropriated as toys: 8

But help is on the way!  I have an appointment with Vadim to start obedience training on Sunday.  Wish us luck!  (I hope that I don’t have to do the commands in Russian…)

What’s out there?  Last night, Terri and I do our evening walk quite late.  It is close to 22:00, after a long but fruitful va’ad bayit (tenant’s association) meeting, by the time we head out.  The walking trail is pitch black and deserted.  Naughty Dog frisks ahead, doing her business and enjoying the cool evening air.  Suddenly, she freezes, stares intently into the dark, and starts barking hysterically.  I put her on the leash, expected to see another dog walker approaching on the path, but there is nothing out there.  I have never seen her so crazed—both excited and scared.  I can’t see or hear a thing, but I coax her back home where she spends the next half hour on the balcony, peering intently down into the wadi.  Later that night, I hear the eerie calls of the jackals hunting.  I can’t be sure, but I think that it was something wild out there that made Terri react that way.

One of the odd fringe benefits of jet-lag is that I wake in the middle of the night and hear all sorts of things that I normally sleep right through.  Jackals, the piercing cries of other nocturnal predators, the earliest call of the mu’ezin (04:30 or there-abouts), cat fights, the neighbor coming home from a night shift, the pre-dawn wind that rises from the wadi.  It turns my normally mundane urban neighborhood into an exotic and wild place of mystery and danger.

Advertisements

One response to “DestructoMeter

  1. this post made me laugh out loud! Good writing!

    Hope Terri gets you a book contract to pay for all of the destruction!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s