And the Oscar goes to… In what can only be described as another Mel Gibson Moment, Iranian President Ahmadinejad says that the solution for all problems is the “elimination of the Zionist regime.” An Iranian fundamentalist terror-exporter who blames Israel for everything? Oh, what a surprise. But Ahmadinejad’s ability to say it with a straight face is still pretty entertaining. Are you guys really sure that you want this knucklehead to have the bomb?
New Math and Nasrallah Math: Five days after the IAF air strike on Qana, the International Red Cross announces that they have recovered 28 bodies total. So when does 28 equal 57? The say that the original number may have been prematurely released. What a shock! You mean CNN didn’t check the facts first?
Goodbye, Dave: American immigrant Dave Lilchuk from Kibbutz Sa’ar, killed yesterday while riding his bicycle on the kibbutz, will be missed by many in the north’s relatively small Anglo community. Dave was known as an intense softball player and an all-around good guy. He had stayed behind to make sure that the animals on the kibbutz were fed and cared for.
Bite me baby one more time: If Hezbullah could only time the ketushot barrages a bit better, we could get a workable percussion beat. But as it is, the hits are annoyingly arrhythmic and you just can’t dance to them. (And the siren that went off last night at 01:30 was definitely a downer.) So I suggest that we air-drop Britney Spears on Nasrallah; either her wardrobe will give him a heart attack, or she’ll manage to teach him some moves.
Teach love, not hate: We aren’t perfect, but we do get some stuff right. Just watch a few hours of Israeli children’s TV, and you’ll see educational programming about history, geography, music, different cultures, travel, food, animals, etc. The messages are overwhelmingly possitive, progressive, and PC. So in that spirit of teaching tolerance, I vow that my home will be a zone of peace and love. I will not allow my little Nadine to be racist or specie-ist. With that in mind, I start showing her these images of cross-species friendship. When this war ends, we may introduce a d-o-g into our home, and Nadine will have to learn to cooexist.
Coping techniques, part deux: While one friend reports that she considers a home pedicure an act of defiance against a misogynistic enemy, I prefer a nice stress-reducing massage. Unfortunately, we can’t get Nadine to complete her massage therapy training…
I’ve mentioned food, yes? The cheese cake was a success (recipe available on demand), and yesterday’s second batch of peach jam (this time with added pears and spicy ginger) is safely frozen to preserve its carmelized zesty flavor. But while food sates our corporeal beings, it does not feed our souls. For that, we need poetry. My cousin Shira sends this Haiku:
Life in the meimad:
maddened, enraged. And yet still
Nadine and peach jam.
A bissella here, a bissella there… Aish haTorah and Chabad both send out pleas for donations for residents of the north. Both use execrable “Hebrish” (English that has become corrupted with grammar, syntax, and vocabulary from Hebrew). In Chabbad’s case, it sounds almost like Yiddish: “Colel Chabad volunteers are going door to door right now to make sure they have what to eat!” Yeah, and remember to close the light when you leave, guys.
Time for a shluff…